Be courageous in the face of opposition

As I peruse the web, looking for other anti-pornography groups to support, I'm surprised, or I guess I'm not, at the opposition to anti-pornography groups, or in other words, people who are pro-pornography.  There seems to be more of those groups than those of the anti ones.  What I do find to be particularly surprising though, is that the voice of many of the pro supporters, are women.  Does that surprise you?  Support for, or at least lack of opposition to pornography can come from Social Liberal and Libertarian support, on the basis that the ability to produce or consume is a form of freedom; Feminist support on the basis that the ability to produce or consume pornography is one aspect of general freedom for women; and Harm-reduction based programs that say pornography does more good than harm.  Many feminists, and I won't even waste my time writing their names or give them any notoriety of any form, are opposed to censorship, and have argued against the introduction of anti-porn legislation in the US.  Some even claim that there is a direct correlation between pornography and a decrease in sex crimes.
All of us here on this earth have the freedom to choose what we will.  It's God's greatest gift to us all.   But in life, there is opposition.  In fact, there is opposition in all things, and for a good purpose.  Good vs. Evil, Right vs. Wrong, Happy vs. Sad.  Do you see where I'm getting at?  I'll let God's word do the talking, since it can explain it far better than I can. 
"And men are instructed sufficiently that they know good from evil.  And the law is given unto men.  And by the law no flesh is justified....For it must needs be that there is an opposition in all things, for if not, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness nor holiness, nor misery, neither good nor bad...Wherefore, the Lord God gave unto man that he should act for him self save it should be that he was enticed by the one or the other...wherefore, men are free to choose liberty and eternal life or choose captivity and death."  2nd Nephi chapter 2 Book of Mormon.   In short, we couldn't know one without knowing the other, and by knowing both sides, hopefully we'll choose the correct side.  After all, wickedness never was happiness.
So on the opposite side of the Pro pornography supporters, and gratefully so, are the anti-pornography supporters.  There are many professionals who assert that extensive viewing of pornographic material, can produce many unfavorable social  effects, including a decreased respect for long-term, monogamous relationships.  Additionally, some researchers claim that pornography causes unequivocal  harm to society by increasing rates of sexual assault.  The complete opposite of what the pro..ers claim. Dr. Dolf Zillmann of the University of Alabama, who has done extensive research of the negative effects of pornography has said: "The values expressed in pornography clash so obviously with the family concept, and they potentially undermine the traditional values that favor marriage, family, and children... Pornographic scripts dwell on engagements of parties who have just met, who are in no way attached or committed to each other, and who will part shortly, never to meet again....gratification in pornography is not a function of emotional attachment, of kindness, of caring, and especially not of continuance of the relationship, as such continuance would translate into responsibilities, curtailments, and costs."
So now that both sides have been represented, I'm going to inject that pornography indeed harms. I'm not a doctor of any kind, but I don't have to be to know that consuming pornography can result in addictive and destructive behaviors. The user may think they're in control and can stop at any time, they may not even think it's a big deal, until family relationships are disintegrating, careers are ruined, and in essence lives are broken.  I also believe it will take courageous people, women in particular, to help others see that pornography is deceitful and a lie.  Women who are willing to stare down the face of opposition in order to save our husbands, sons, friends and heroes.  Women who, although my be ridiculed or persecuted, are willing to speak up and speak out in order to keep evil at bay. Freedom lies not in doing evil just because we can, but in doing good because its what ultimately brings happiness.  Ester of the Old Testament was such a courageous woman, and I know there are many courageous women out there.

"Let us have the courage to defy the consensus, the courage to stand for principle. Courage, not compromise."  Thomas S. Monson 

The Battlefield

Today is a bad day.  Today I think I have lost my mind.  Today I feel completely alone.  When people go through trials they can experience good days with an added measure of strength and hope, and then they experience bad days when all seems lost.  Today is one of those days.  I have been told by numerous people over the course of my life that I'm a strong person.  Especially in the face of adversity.  I try to be because I like to think that there's always a better day lurking around the corner and as it says in the scriptures ..."this too shall pass."  Just the other day a friend of mine, who has shared with me some of the struggles she's going through, sent me a message to my Facebook page that says, "God gives the worst trials to his warrior women."  I liked the message because it made me feel strong, made me feel like God trusts me to come out on top in this war...ahem this journey we call life, and made me feel like I was capable of overcoming even the worst of trials.  Sometimes we feel like we're warriors, fighting the daily battles that get thrown our way, but today I am defeated for sure, and I feel tired.  Tired of trying to be strong, tired of trying to be brave, tired of waiting for that better day that's supposed to be lurking around the corner.  Now, I've never actually been to battle, like on the front lines, facing the enemy with a weapon in hand, nor have I been a POW.  I can only imagine how terrible that would be, how hard and how trying an ordeal that would be for anyone, and I know there are brave people out there who have had to endure such ordeals.  We can even watch on the TV shows of today where war is depicted or where people have been captured by the enemy and are tortured or at least physically pushed to the brink in order to expel pertinent information from them.  They use tactics of starvation, sleep deprivation, propaganda, less than desirable living quarters, and perhaps even physical abuse.  The body is amazing, and what's more, the mind is amazing for it's ability to adapt, withstand and even over come.  But prolonged neglect and or abuse of our bodies and minds and we start to deteriorate.  And it will then depend on food, water, shelter, sleep, medical attention and so forth in order to bring us back into homeostasis as they say in the medical world, or rather, back to normal and thriving conditions that we're used to on a day to day basis.  Well, I believe the same can be said for our spirits.  The war for our spirits or our souls is actively engaged and the enemy is an invisible but very real one, and he has a great army.  Just like the physical enemy would try and obtain information about the weaknesses of his opposing forces to use for his benefit, so too does the adversary, who wants to destroy our souls and lead us away from victory which is ultimately in God.  He knows our weaknesses and he'll use what ever tactics are necessary to repeatedly attack our weaknesses until...well, yeah, until we're too weak to hold on any longer.  If we stray too far from "base camp" or try to wander out on the "battle field" alone or with out the proper instruction or guidance, we're certain to get lost, stumble across an "IED" or be captured by the enemy.  By that I mean, when we take our eyes off God and His perfect plan for us, (which includes living his commandments that by doing so gives us safety and peace) we begin to wander out in the world.  We can then get sucked into the world, whether it be drugs, alcohol, pornography, to name more of the severe things that are out there, and we can be captured by these things that over time rob of us our safety, peace, happiness, our direction in life or even our very life as we know it.  But it doesn't even have to be things as serious as drugs, alcohol or pornography.  With all that's going on in our lives right now, in my life, I feel, well, stressed.  Tired.  Sometimes angry.  Irritable.  Short tempered.  Those are the weaknesses that the enemy is playing off of right now, and in my weakness, I feel like I'm starting to give up.  It's the little things, like my kids complaining that they hate tonight's dinner, or when two of them are going at it with each other, like kicking each other and calling each other names, then tattle telling one on the other about what the other one did.  It's asking them to help clean up and instead they make new messes that I have to clean up.  It's doing laundry on a daily basis for eight people; washing, folding and putting away only to find clothes on the floor or back in the laundry when they weren't even worn.  It's feeling ingratitude from those you love when you are trying to do the best you can for them.  You're probably laughing, because we all go through this right?  You might even be going through worse.  All of these things were my day today, I finally did give up my strength and I yelled and screamed and cried and left the house and am writing this from the McDonalds parking lot trying to find my spiritual way back to homeostasis.  So I pray and ask for help and for once again the strength to keep going, and when I think all is lost, and am ready to give up the fight because I feel no one cares or understands, I get a message from my sweet 11 year old son who says, "Mommy please come back, we miss you terribly."  I had only actually been gone for maybe five minutes when he left me that message.  So there is hope that a better day is right around the corner.  There is hope that we can forgive and be forgiven.  Tomorrow is a new day and we must press forward.  I must press forward.  May I share this hymn with you?  It helps me get through the tough times.  It's a verse from an LDS hymn entitled, "Come, Come Ye Saints."

Why should we mourn, or think our lot is hard?
Tis not so all is right
Why should we think to earn a great reward,
If we now shun the fight?
Gird up your loins, fresh courage take
Our God will never us forsake.
And soon we'll have this tale to tell
All is Well, all is well.

 

 

All is well, all is well...or at least someday it will be.

Pornography in the military

It is estimated that 20% of active duty military members are addicted to pornography and that consumption of pornography among military members is much higher than those of their civilian counterparts.  This can be partly due to long deployments and a predominantly male population.  Pornography is one of the biggest problems facing the military today.  It is beginning to surpass drug and alcohol abuse among military members; it has become the new drug of choice.
We have all been made aware of  the epidemic of sex crimes being committed within the military through the media.  It is nothing new to the military, only that now it is being brought out into the light .  But the military needs to do more than just discharge their service members from duty.  The service MUST help its members deal with this addictive health problem, as they do for those who abuse substances such as drugs and alcohol, and their current prevention training is not enough.   Leaders need to become available and approachable for service members to confide in them about their problem before their careers, lives and families are destroyed.  Simply put, pornography should not be able to be accessed by government computers.  But changing just the conditions or the environment alone is not enough; people need help in order to change.

It has been said that pornography is to sex addiction what crack cocaine is to drug addiction.  When the brain receives the images of pornography, adrenaline is released into the blood stream. The Pituitary Gland and Hypothalamus then secrete endorphins to produce dopamine which opens the pleasure centers of the brain.  Too much dopamine in the brain is said to cause the addiction.  Studies have even shown that persons, both normal and unbalanced, who view pornography develop a craving for more and more deviant material. There has also been proven a direct link between pornography consumption and commission of sex crimes.  Hence the spike in sexual assault cases within the military.

Pornography shapes beliefs and behaviors about sex.  It poses danger because it assaults human beings emotional psyche, of both the user and those close to them, especially a spouse.  It also poses danger to the abuser because it causes physical addictions similar to hard drugs.

You would be foolish to scoff and think that pornography is healthy or cures loneliness when one is away from family, or to ignore well documented risks associated with it.  You would also be foolish to ignore it if it's happening to you or someone you love, if it's important to you to save precious relationships.  The adversary is waging a war against families, and civilizations with pornography quite simply because it destroys.  As far as the military goes, now is the time to begin a serious anti-pornography campaign before more of our hero's are lost to this drug.  It doesn't have to be this way.

 There is hope however, which is why I began this blog.  To help my self, and to help others out there who might be directly or indirectly affected by this epidemic.  God has power to heal and to save.  There are many programs out there, such as the Addiction Recovery Program given by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints that help people suffering and causing others to suffer because of an addiction.

I was afraid before to say anything.  Afraid of people's judgements, afraid to admit that this problem affects my life by a loved one, afraid that there would be nothing I could do to help.  But we don't need to be afraid.  "For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ; for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth..." Romans 1:16